The BEST Divorce Letter EVER!!!!

(source: internet)

Dear Wife:

I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you for good.

I’ve been a good man to you for seven years, and I have nothing to show for it.

These last two weeks have been hell.  Your boss called to tell me that you had quit your job today, and that was the last straw.

Last week, you came home and didn’t even notice that I had gotten a new hair cut, cooked your favorite meal, and even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers.

You came home and ate in two minutes, then went straight to sleep after watching all your soaps.  You don’t tell me you love me anymore, you don’t want to have sex anymore or anything. Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me anymore.

Whatever the case is, I am gone.

Your EX – Husband

P.S.  Don’t try to find me.  Your SISTER and I are moving away to West Virginia together!

Have a great life!
 
Dear Ex-Husband:

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter.  It is true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a good man is a far cry from what you’ve been.

I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining and griping. Too bad that doesn’t work.  I did notice when you got a hair cut last week.  The first thing that came to mind was, ‘You look just like a girl!’, but my mother raised me not to say anything, if you can’t say anything nice.  And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating steak seven years ago.

I turned away from you when you had those silk boxers on because the price tag was still on them. I prayed that it was just a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning and your new silk boxers were $49.99.

After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out.  So, when I discovered that I had hit the lottery for Ten Million Dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica .

But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess

I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that with your letter you wrote, you won’t get a dime from me.

So take care.

Signed,

Rich and Free!

P.S.  I don’t know if I ever told you this but Carla, my sister, was born CARL.  I hope that’s not a problem.



Star Smile mad

10 Youtube URL Tricks You Should Know About

(source: makeuseof.com)

Youtube – You know that site with videos and all. Yeah! It turns out that its quite popular and you happen to visit and use it quite often. Instead of just searching and playing here are some top Youtube URL tricks that you should know about:

1. View high quality videos

Youtube gives you the option to switch to high quality videos for some of the videos, however you can check if a video is available in high quality format by appending ‘&fmt=18′(stereo, 480 x 270 resolution) or ‘&fmt=22′(stereo, 1280 x 720 resolution) for even higher quality.

2. Embed Higher Quality Videos

While the above trick works for playback, if however you want to embed hig quality videos you need to append “&ap=%2526fmt%3D18″ and “&ap=%2526fmt%3D22″ to the embed url.

3. Cut the chase and link to the interesting part

Linking to a video where the real action starts at 3 minutes 22 seconds, wondered if you could make it start at 03:22? You are in luck. All you have to do is add #t=03m22s (#t=XXmYYs for XX mins and YY seconds) to the end of the URL.

4. Hide the search box

The search box appears when you hover over an embedded video. To hide the search box add ‘&showsearch=0′ to the embed url.

5. Embed only a part of Video

Just append ‘&start=30′ to skip first 30s of the video. In general you can modify the value after start= to the number of seconds you want to skip the video for.

6. Autoplay an embedded video

Normally when you embed a Youtube video and load the page, the player is loaded and it sits there waiting for you to hit the play button. You can make the video play automatically by adding ‘&autoplay=1′ to the url part of the embed code.

7. Loop an embedded video

Append ‘&loop=1′ to make the video start again without user intervention after it reaches the end.

8. Disable Related Videos

Publishing your content in the form of Youtube video? Don’t want people to see other people’s content that may be related but may as well be in competition to you? Just add ‘&rel=0′ to the end of the url part of the embed code and you just turned off the related video suggestions!

9. Bypass Youtube Regional Filtering

Some videos are only available in certain parts of the world. Your IP Address is used to determine your location and then allow or deny access to the video. Change the url from http://www.youtube.com/watch?v= to http://www.youtube.com/v/

10. Download Video

Although not inherently a youtube trick but useful all the same for downloading videos. Just change youtube to kickyoutube in the url of the video and it will take you to kickyoutube.com with all the options for downloading the video you were watching.

Star Smile mad

New Girl Review: It's Jess!

(source: tvfanatic.com & YouTube)

New Girl is based around a simple premise: Zooey Deschanel is adorable. Sorry, adorkable, as the six million Fox ads that hyped this new sitcom have told us for weeks.
It's a basic concept, and it's one that will likely leave viewers split into two camps after watching the series premiere: those that truly do find Deschanel adorkable, and those who wish to bash a guitar over her head every time she sings.
Me? I am proudly on Team Zooey is Awesome, making New Girl my favorite new comedy of the fall.

Come on, Deschanel's Jess has her own theme song, unabashedly references Lord of the Rings and is open about her desire for rebound sex. What's not to love?

Granted, it's impossible not to compare this frumpy, nerdy, dating-challenged character to Liz Lemon, but is it really a bad thing when my biggest criticism is that Jess reminds me of one of TV's funniest women?

It always takes a few episodes - or even a full season, as was the case with Parks and Recreation - to get into a sitcom. Unlike a drama that can hook you with a major mystery or cliffhanger, most laughs for a show of this nature stem from established characters and their quirks or personalities. And there are definitely a few things I'd change about New Girl, most notably the number of times Schmidt acts like a douchebag.

Yes, the series at least acknowledges this change of personality when it occurs, stopping short of making the self-aware roommate an actual douchebag, but still. Lose the jar and tone it down a bit or else I'll start to wonder why Coach (Damon Wayans Jr., who will be replaced with Lamorne Morris going forward) and Nick are actually friends with Schmidt.

Still, that's a small complaint after just one episode. Deschanel is cute and hilarious, whether she's simulating cartoon bug eyes upon spotting a hot guy or trying to come up with a stripper name. Below, I've listed a few of the best New Girl quotes from a strong opener:

Jess: I was going for like a hot farmer's daughter kind of thing, like, oh, I'm gonna go milk my cows. 

Jess: Who's that girl? It's Jess.
Nick: Did you just make up a theme song for yourself?

Jess: Well, I guess I can't hide my crazy.
Nick: I don't you're trying that hard. 

Jess: Pink wine makes me slutty.

Schmidt: I'll take you through the whole thing. I'll be like your guide.
Jess: Like Gandolf through Middle Earth?
Schmidt: Probably not like... Okay, first of all, let's take the Lord of the Rings references and put them in a deep, dark cave, where no one's gonna find them. Ever.
Jess: Except Smeagle. He lives in a cave. 

Cece: What's your stripper name?
Jess: Uh, Rebecca Johnson.
Cece: Your stripper name is Rebecca Johnson?
Jess: Boobies Johnson. Two Boobs Johnson. 

Jess: I'm doing sexy things with the pillow. 

Star Smile mad

Berry Cute! Tiny Dormouse Dines on Fruit

(source: peoplepets.com)

It's like an eating contest – for mice!

This tiny hazel dormouse, who resides at England's Secret World Animal Rescue Centre, is stuffing his face in preparation for his nap – an annual snooze that starts in early October and ends in the spring. The small mammals, which measure about 3 inches long, gobble up plenty of fruits, nuts and flowers before their long hibernation in an underground nest.


Star Smile mad

The Personal Mega-Sized Eye of Horus: Naomi Campbell’s Eco-Mansion

(source: industryleadersmagazine.com)

An ancient Egyptian symbol of protection, royal power and good health, the Eye of Horus has been reproduced in its most physically monumental form on the Isla Playa de Cleopatra in Turkey in the form of Naomi Campbell’s eco-palace.
The 25-bedroom home, designed by Spanish architect Luis de Garrido, reported as being the architect’s gift to Campbell, has been designed to function in a largely self-sufficient manner.
With features that enhance the ability of the building to be self-sufficient in terms of its energy and water needs, Campbell’s new island mansion functions as an off-grid home complete with photovoltaic panels, a sophisticated geothermal system and an interior landscaped terrace.

Eye-ball Home Details

Naomi Campbell’s palatial eco-home, with its over two dozen bedrooms and five lounges, is one of the latest to join the rapidly growing list of eco-friendly celebrity island abodes, like Johnny Depp’s solar hydrogen fuel powered home in the Bahamas.
The large steel-and-glass dome, the eyeball of the Eye of Horus, is light and transparent, letting in natural light and warmth all year round. The intensity of how much light and warmth filter in is controlled by horizontal louvers, landscaping, and glazed windows.
Campbell’s personal Eye of Horus in Turkey has been designed by devising an ingenious system of structuring photovoltaic panels which helps generate a large share of the energy required to run the building. The rest of the energy requirement is met by a highly sophisticated geothermal system and passive design.
The design of this eco-mansion also includes a detailed rainwater harvesting system, while wastewater from the home is treated on site with the use of a biological treatment system, further increasing this home’s overall energy efficiency.
The architect has also tried to ensure that the house is well-ventilated, to address any concerns about the greenhouse effect creating an uncomfortable humidity level. The indoor landscaped terrace on the top floor of this eco-palace further contributes to the home’s superior microclimate.

Architect Luis de Garrido

Architect Luis de Garrido has, over the last few years, been in the spotlight for his signature style of creating designs based on the theme of “artificial nature”.
Luis De Garrido’s bold, yet respectful, design philosophy states “The architect can even surpass Nature, but to do so, they must understand it, take it in, and love it with all their souls.”
De Garrido’s expertise where new-age sustainable architectural technologies are concerned is demonstrated perfectly in projects like GREEN BOX, which is the first modular Garden-House that is prefabricated, can be built in just 15 days, is reusable, transportable, has an infinite life cycle, is bioclimatic, has zero energy consumption, and does not generate waste.
Intermodal Steel Building Units (ISBU) awarded Luis de Garrido the 2008 Architect of the Year Award for his sustainable Bio-climatic architecture, educational symposiums and the innovative award winning architectural designs.



Star Smile mad

Everyone Loves to Blame Gwyneth Paltrow

(source: gawker.com)

 On a slow weekend, a movie about a disease disaster started by Gwyneth Paltrow reigned supreme. Also this weekend, mixed martial arts made a wan debut, The Help continued to rage on, and a few people saw a strange movie.
1) Contagion — $23M
Despite yesterday's solemn anniversary, people still wanted to go to the movies this weekend to feel the tingle and dread of a global society unraveling into terror. We just like scaring the bejeebus out of ourselves, always have and always will. And this movie was pretty scary! In a realistic, sciencey, cold hand of bureaucracy kind of way. Plus it taught me an interesting lesson about how every public health official is a beautiful young woman, and that bloggers are always talking about how many unique visitors they have. And also that bloggers are all snaggle-toothed weirdos who don't much care for other people. These are important things to learn! Plus you get to see Gwyneth Paltrow like you've never seen her before! Very much so! Yikes. But yes, it is a good movie. Not something I would call fun by any measure, not even something I would really even call thrilling. It's more just grim and interesting, with plenty of scary images and sad images and Gwyneth Paltrow images that will be seared into your brain forever. Ew. Brain.
2) The Help — $8.6M
Over a month into its run and lots of people are still going to see this. There must be some repeat viewers at this point? Like, there must be some Helpanauts or Helpiacs by now, people who are writing fanfic and who are firmly Team Aibileen or Team Skeeter or Team Celia. (If anyone you know is Team Hilly, you should probably not be friends with that person anymore.) Just like Twilight's mushroom ravioli, these Helphards probably eat chocolate pie at their little gatherings. (Though hopefully only a few extreme, fringe Helpies make it using the movie's recipe.) It's just a whole crazy community of diehard fans who are super into The Help. It just had to have happened by now! Their daughters will roll their eyes at them because their moms are so lame, and then those daughters will stalk off to their rooms to continue work on their Taylor Lautner dolls, made from Teen Beat clippings and hair and other fibers they combed from the red carpet after the Eclipse premiere.
3) Warrior — $5.6M
Not a terribly auspicious debut for the mixed martial arts movie. If anyone was hoping a whole cottage movie industry about MMA would sprout up because of this movie, I think they were hoping in vain. I'd say that maybe the sport is just too brutal for most, but sadly the reality is probably that the movie doesn't seem brutal enough. Sure there's all the swollen, bloody eye sockets and other face kicking-related stuff, but there's also like feelings and family and Nick Nolte, and that junk is for wimps and simps and pussy boys. Perhaps if this movie was just two hours of people stomping and whomping on one another it would have done a tad better, at least better than The Help in its fifth weekend. But nope, they went and put emotion in and fellows who like kick fighting do not like emotion, that is just proven gender science. And as much as the ladies in their lives said they would go, drawn in as they were by the lumpy muscled appeal of Tom Hardy and Joel Edgerton, these kick-happy dudes just couldn't abide all the sappiness. Which does not bode well for my deeply touching gay krav maga movie, Krav Gaga. Oh well.
15) Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star — $1.45M
Though this film opened on a surprising number of screens, it certainly didn't attract many eyeballs. Probably, hopefully, because of its truly dreadful TV ads, which involved two random dudes screaming at the audience over clips of the film, which looks to be a cross between Kingpin, Boogie Nights, and Little Nicky. Nothing about that ad campaign was remotely appealing, apparently even to the Joe and Jane Thumbsuckers out there who will go to see just about anything. (See: the Resident Evil franchise's success.) Really just about nobody wanted to go see this movie. Which is too bad for Nick Swardson, because he's funny and likable, but really good for the advertising world, because we have learned that talking head scream-ads do not work. It was a bold experiment, but it was a bust, thank god. Much like Frankenstein, in fact. Perhaps some marketing person at Happy Madison will end up chasing these terrible ads to the ends of the Earth, only to be found much later by an expedition ship in the North Pole. They'll live long enough to tell the ship's captain their tale and then expire, done in by their own mad ambition.
26) Creature — $331K
Speaking of movies that inexplicably opened on a lot of screens, this Z-grade monster movie flickered on 1,500 screens this weekend. And each screen earned an average of $220 for the entire weekend. The box office nerds over at EW crunched those numbers and determined that each showing had an average of two people in attendance. Just two lonely souls. Were they together, I wonder? Or did they all come alone, monster movie fanatics who couldn't find anyone else to go with them? Who are these mysterious pairs of people who went to see this movie in random places across this country? That is, I think, this weekend's sad mystery. The mystery of who went to see Creature, odd little duos sitting in the dark, having an experience shared by only a few other weirdos. I wonder if they'll know each other somehow, feel some intrinsic pull toward one another when they pass at an airport or on a train. Will they somehow gravitate towards one another, against their knowing, and bump into each other's lives. Will they get married and have children and never know? Become lifelong friends? The curious magnetism of their closeness explained only years later, when this movie comes on Syfy and they both laugh and say at the same time "You know, I actually saw this in the theater on opening weekend." And they'll turn and stare at one another, feeling an odd revulsion but also a weary kind of love. "That was you," they'll say. "That was you that I felt that Saturday, long ago. That was you all along." And then they'll watch Creature again, and that will be that.



Star Smile mad

1870 Photograph On eBay Proves Nicolas Cage Is Immortal

(source: geeksofdoom.com)

A photograph was recently discovered being sold on eBay. The photo is of a Tennessee man, and it dates back to around the 1860s or 1870s. But the thing about this particular man, is that he looks an awful lot like a one Mr. Nicolas Cage.
So much so that the seller is even using this in his description, claiming the Cage must be some sort of vampire. Now, some have taken the seller to be completely serious in his statements (especially with a Buy It Now price of $1,000,000 set), but as you can see in the Q&A section at the bottom of the page, he’s actually a pretty funny dude and, even though it sounds like a legit 19th century photograph, is likely just having some fun with it (unless, of course, someone actually pays up that kinda coin, in which case he would be a genius).
You can see the image below and read the seller’s description by heading on below now.

 

Original c.1870 carte de visite showing a man who looks exactly like
Nick Cage. Personally, I believe it’s him and that he is some sort of
walking undead / vampire, et cetera, who quickens / reinvents
himself once every 75 years or so. 150 years from now, he might
be a politician, the leader of a cult, or a talk show host.
This is not a trick photo of any kind and has not been manipulated
in Photoshop or any other graphics program. It’s an original photo
of a man who lived in Bristol, TN sometime around the Civil War.
For the many of you insisting that this is a Photoshop manipulation:
Any serious potential buyer will be allowed to have a photo expert
of their choice examine the original photograph before any money
changes hands.
I’ve had a lot of questions asking where I purchased this. As followers
of my website know, I collect antique memorial photography –
images of dead people – from the 1800s. This photo was found in
the very back of album that contained an unusual number of
Civil War era death portraits (which is why I purchased it). All of
the other people in the album, living and dead, were identified
by name – this man was not.

 


Star Smile mad

Fastest Cars In The World: Top 10 List 2011-2012

(source: thesupercars.org)

World's Fastest Cars
While most of us can only dream of owning the fastest car in the world, some will do whatever it takes to possess the most powerful speed. So, how fast are the fastest cars in the world?
Here are the 10 fastest cars available on the market (production models, as opposed to concept cars) measured by tested top speed (theoretical speeds do not count).
1. Bugatti Veyron Super Sport: 267 mph, 0-60 in 2.4 secs. Aluminum, Narrow Angle 8 Liter W16 Engine with 1200 hp, base price is $2,400,000. Although the Bugatti Veyron lost the title to SSC Ultimate Aero on March 2007, Bugatti challenge the record in Germany on July 10, 2010 with the new 2010 Super Sport Version and the Veyron once again claims the title of the fastest car in the world at 267 mph. The original Bugatti Veyron has a top speed of 253 mph, priced at $1,700,000 and equipped with 1001 hp.

#2 is a tie!
2. Hennessey Venom GT: 260 mph, 0-60 in 2.5 seconds, has a 6.2-liter LS9 Turbocharged V8 Twin Turbo V8 Engine producing 1200 hp, has a price tag of $950,000. The Venom GT has yet to be tested and proven, but could possibly hit a top speed of 275 mph. This might just be the Veyron Super Sport's closest competitor!

2. Koenigsegg Agera R: 260 mph, 0-60 in 2.9 secs. 5.0-liter V8 Engine with twin turbo’s, housing 1099 hp. Base price is $1,600,000. If you're into snow sports, the Agera R can be fitted with a Ski Box as well as winter tires, not that I would take one on a ski trip or anything like that. While the Agera R has a massive theoretical top speed, the current tested top speed is 260 mph. Expect this snow car to be the Bugatti's arch enemy for the next 5 years.

3. SSC Ultimate Aero: 257 mph, 0-60 in 2.7 secs. Twin-Turbo V8 Engine with 1183 hp, base price is $654,400. Tested in March 2007 by Guinness World Records, The SSC Ultimate Aero was the fastest car in the world from March 2007 to July 2010. On March 2011, the Koenigsegg Agera R also surpassed it, forcing this American made car to the #3 spot. Shelby SuperCars will continue their quest to reclaim the fastest car title, and their new SSC Tuatura might do the job (we'll just have to wait).

4. Saleen S7 Twin-Turbo: 248 mph, 0-60 in 2.8 secs. Twin Turbo All Aluminum V8 Engine with 750 hp, base price is $555,000. Smooth and bad-ass. It will make you want to show it off non-stop.

5. Koenigsegg CCX: 245 mph, 0-60 in 3.2 secs. 90 Degree V8 Engine 806 hp, base price is $545,568. Made in Sweden, it is the older brother of the Agera R, only losing to 4 other supercars in the world.

6. McLaren F1: 240 mph, 0-60 in 3.2 secs. BMW S70/2 60 Degree V12 Engine with 627 hp, base price is $970,000. The fastest car in the 20th century with doors that looks like bat wings. Maybe Batman needs to order one and paint it black

7. Gumpert Apollo: 224 mph, 0-60 in 3.0 secs, 4.2 liter V8 Engine that houses 650 hp. Base price: $450,000. Gumpert claims that the Apollo was designed such that it could drive upside-down in a tunnel with speeds at 190 mph or above. Of course, no one has tested this yet.
8. Noble M600: 223 mph, 0-60 in 3.7 secs. Twin-turbocharged 4.4-liter V8 Engine with 650 hp. Base price is $330,000. The Noble M600 also happens to be a very cool car. Its inconspicuous design sports a slender and contoured body which does not scream out for attention at every second of the day.
We have a tie for 9th and 10th places:
9. Pagani Zonda Cinque Roadster: 217 mph, 0-60 in 3.4 secs. Twin turbocharged AMG V12 engine that produces 678 hp. Base price is $1,850,000. The Pagani Zonda Cinque Roadster is a limited-edition, with five ever produced. It is the quintessential exotic and exclusive supercar.
9. Ferrari Enzo: 217 mph, 0-60 in 3.4 secs. F140 Aluminum V12 Engine with 660 hp, base price is $670,000. Only 399 were ever produced; the price goes up every time someone crashes.
9. Jaguar XJ220: 217 mph, 0-60 in 3.8 secs. Twin Turbo V6 Engine with 542 hp, base price was $650,000. Made in 1992, this car still has what it takes to make the list.

10. Ascari A10: 215 mph, 0-60 in 2.8 secs. 5.0 litre BMW V8 S62 Engine with 625 hp. Base price: $650,000. The company planned to produce 50 of these supercars at its factory in Banbury, England.
10. Pagani Zonda F: 215 mph, 0-60 in 3.5 secs. Mercedes Benz M180 V12 Engine with 650 hp, base price is $667,321. With a V12 motor, this baby can do much better.



Star Smile mad